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Narain, Jasmine Amora, Alphabet Soup

NARAIN, JASMINE AMORA

Jasmine Amora Narain
Age: 15, Grade: 10

School Name: Dalton School, New York, NY
Educator: Chris Hood

Category: Poetry

Alphabet Soup

amidst chaos, i am twelve and listening to friends in the locker room,
“i hope you’re not a lesbian, they should change with the boys, not be creeps,”
and ever since then i occupy the single-stall in the bathroom,
i am thirteen and my life is going nowhere, i say a silent prayer
to a god i do not know exists, to unbreak me, maybe it’s to unravel me,
and maybe that was a prayer to Christ or Trimurti, my grandmother
used to keep a painting of him on her bedroom wall, god of
destruction and yesterday a man started to follow me home,
took the same two trains, an hour ride home with me,
and i hid in the bathroom at Dunkin Donuts for twenty minutes,
i couldn’t breathe–

i had a dream once where i was a vampire,
or maybe i was just a regular pretending
to be a vampire, there was a bag of rice on the table
and i just started counting it, 1, 2, 3, to 8,365
when i woke up, i tried to fall back into my dream

i know how to say “war” in four languages
but sometimes i wake up and don’t remember my name,